One of the reasons I stayed in a marriage that went wrong, almost from the very beginning, was because amongst many other reasons, I was afraid of having chemo and having no one to care for me. I was afraid of being the old, single lady who lived in the big house and only had cats as companions. (I currently have two cats.)
I’m 46, have three older children and am not married. As you might imagine, I worry about a lot. Most of which I shouldn’t worry about…Will I have enough money for retirement? Have I ruined my children beyond repair and will they have it’s-my-mother’s-fault- conversations? When is it too old to stop dating? Will my daughters find men who will cherish them? When will my neck start sagging? Will I have vaginal dryness after menopause? And, yes, when (if) I have to have chemo, will there be someone who helps me through it?
Never once have I worried about dying in my shower. Naked. Not once.
Today began like any other day. I went to the gym this morning, had coffee, saw Evan off to school. And just like any other day, I began with a shower.
My master bath is really quite amazing. In fact, I think it’s bigger than my first kitchen was. Two sinks, large garden tub with a window that looks out into the back yard, and a huge shower that has two seats along with shower doors that open on either end of the shower. This bathroom had me at hello. I was in love immediately.
Stepping into the shower, I notice that the door I was using had some resistance to opening. I just shoved a bit harder and then had to use even more strength to get it to close. Thanks goodness I’ve got another door I can use to get out, I think to myself.
My shower complete, I open the shower door. Or, at least, I try to open the shower door. It doesn’t budge. Not one bit.
So, I reach for the other door because surely, that one will work. Uh. No. Well, okay it opened about two inches. That’s it!
What the heck do I do now? Neither shower door will open, I’m wet and naked (Stop visualizing me wet and naked! This is a serious situation!), no one is home nor will they be until about 5 pm! Never, ever, in my whole life have I imagined that the end of my life would come by hypothermia, while naked in my shower. I have, on my darkest days, imagined dying alone—but never like this!
Why oh why didn’t I pay attention to all those field trips to the fire station when the kids were little? Having an emergency escape plan was the number one thing they recommended. I know that was for fires and I’m not sure I would have had the foresight to include an escape plan from the shower, but still.
Certainly, I must have some options. I try the doors one more time using all my strength with no luck! Are you kidding me?? All those years of buying super cute shoes and I’m going to die naked??
I look up and see that if I could get to the top of the shower doors I could just jump my way down to the floor and to safety. (I have to say the thought of getting high-centered makes me cringe but what other choice do I have? I do have two wash mitts and one washcloth so, if worse comes to worse, I could use those to cover my important parts for when Evan gets home and has to rescue me. But I do want to avoid that scene at ALL costs!)
With bruises and red marks to prove it, I did manage to get down from the top of the shower doors. All this before 8 am on Monday, October 17th.
So, how’s your day going?
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